Is it wrong to ask your significant other to stop drinking?

Jordan Peck provided me with his back story….. as follows…

 “I am a young man. 17yrs old. I have had quite a few negative experiences with the people in my family and thier drinking, family members killed by drunk drivers, and never knowing my father,probably due to alcohol on the very night I was conceived (This is mainly assumed, but my mom was an 18 year old at the time and in college).

My Significant other likes a drink. We have been together since we were young in high school, around 15 yrs old. We broke up before because we had agreed that we wouldnt drink anymore but she did, then she lied to me.

This has been a topic that had always created problems between us. Shes only 17, four years below the US legal drinking age. Of course, many teenagers do still drink and have parties frequently. this is normal.

This has always been a big problem for us both. I have a lot of trust issues anyway and tend to always believe that people are going to let me down, so drinking just opens the door for an increased chance of bad things happening in my mind.

I understand  I do have problems in this situation too, but… is it fair to ask her to give up drinking completely?”

Basil Simon, 27 yrs of successful marraige and a deep understanding of human instincts

 Answer…..

If alcohol is beginning to impact your relationship deeply like then it is definitely time to consider if it is problematic.

The fact  you are asking this question suggests it is indeed a real problem.

It would be absolutely acceptable to sit your girlfriend down and mention that you are starting to get worried about the future in relation to her alcohol consumption. Outline the exact reasons why it concerns you so much and ask your partner if  drinking can take a back seat for a while?

If your partner just argues, making excuses for why to not do that, accuses you of trying to say she is an alcoholic and generally kicks off then you may be in for the long road forward involving  ‘denial’.

Denial is the stage alcoholics go through before finally admitting to themselves that they actually have a serious problem. Some alcoholics never ever get past denial at all. I know people like this. It is totally baffling how they cannot see it.

If you end up in a complete never ending struggle with this then there is an organisation available that can help you called…. AL-ANON

I wrote and recorded a song for a family member who was a real alcoholic. Trying to help him was so hard! We tried to give him the proverbial kick up the ass to do something about it but he was just telling us ..,.”You might as well eat your shoes”

Enjoy !

Good luck

Basil Simon

Musical life coach

Check out Basil Simons songs on you tube!

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