My girlfriend has stopped answering my calls and doesn’t reply to my texts while I keep texting and calling her. What should I do to forget her?

Basil Simon, Skilled communicator and understander of humans.

I think your very first mistake here is the way you still describe her as “my girlfriend”

you need to be realistic here. The relationship is clearly over. You need to redefine realistically who she is. She is clearly telling you that she is NO LONGER your girlfriend anymore. She clearly has no wish whatsoever to maintain your mental well-being by having you in her life. You need to start labeling her as your “X Girlfriend”. In order to forget her you need to try some good old cognitive therapy. You are obviously still addicted, yes she was an addiction! so I will give you a technique often used with recovering addict’s.

Imagine your thoughts as pictures hanging on a washing line. But… the pictures on the washing line are moving along constantly. Now then…. When that picture of her arrives in your mind do not fixate on it. Let it pass by and just immediately go to the next picture. focus on whatever you happen to be doing, or, think about the next thing in the now. If you can’t get to another picture then you need to fill the gap she left with new activity.

Maybe take on a brand new project?

If you are creative, then maybe write a series of short stories or make something. If you are good at learning new stuff get online to You tube and start taking in something new like a language? or some other skill that might help you in your life. If you love being entertained then try reading a book or watch a movie. If you like to look after yourself physically then get to the gym or maybe start running or cycling regularly. do anything but try to make it something that will be healthy and productive. therefore making you a better human being and raising your self esteem at the same time! you need to feel good about yourself again! Give your mind other things to think about. Then, when she pops up In Your head, let that picture carry on and go to the next one. When you get good at this, her picture will then stop arriving so much! The memory of her will fade away because you redirected your mind.

Oh…and… do not keep her visible in your life. Remove her from your social media situation, erase her number from your phone never to return, delete all previous e mails and texts. DO NOT hang on to resentments and keep replaying the events in your mind. That is a crazy form of self torture! Let it all go now. Just be aware of any mistakes you  might feel you have made and then learn from that. Knowledge is power!

One interesting thing I have noted about missing a person from your life is… we don’t actually miss the person.

We simply feel totally discombobulated (I love that word!) by the change in routine. We get very comfortable with the regularity of being with someone. Especially if that person is propping you up emotionally because they felt better about you than you do about yourself. We become very upset by this change. I have heard it said that it takes approximately two weeks oe so to start feeling comfortable with a brand new routine so it might be a great idea to do this new thing in your life at the very times you would ordinarily have been seeing her.

The new spare time in your life is a fantastic opportunity for a whole new adventure! So Enjoy it!

Forget her now, get your brand new & exciting plan together of self improvement and Move on with your life!

Good luck!

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